Soooo…. many of you know that the fabulous and greedy Goddess Sue and I get together about once a year for frolicking and mayhem~~ usually it’s in the South (New Orleans or Texas) but THIS time we decided to do it in MY home town on MY coast and I was extra excited for it!!! I love New York City and I love experiencing it with new friends and introducing them to my old haunts and stomping grounds. This trip would be different, however. This time, one of her loyal longterm subs, sui generis, was to be joining us. I was looking forward to seeing how well trained he was!
The plan was to meet up at Newark airport in New Jersey and then make a grand entrance into the state of New York together with sui meeting us separately in the city (lol, literally 50 paces behind). In spite of lots of traffic and airport delays, it went off without a hitch! Her plane landed about 10 minutes before I walked into the hellhole that is now EWK (Newark airport used to be SO nice! What happened??). After being in a car for over 4 hours, I had to pee, so I raced to find a bathroom, which, of course, could NOT have been conveniently located in the baggage claim area… nope… you have to go upstairs and about a mile away if you have to pee and THEN it turns out that 1/2 the bathroom is closed for repair and there is a mile long line out the door of grimacing women with tacky luggage. Gross. I debated whether or not I should just hold it and leave and then I looked up and saw her face~~ who was coming towards me from out of the ladies room, but none other than Sue, herself! We smooched and laughed at the irony of our meeting up in such a disgusting and not so snobby location and then she hurried off to get her bags, I finally got to pee, we found our driver, and off we went~ NYC bound! We gossiped the whole way there, so it didn’t seem to take very long and before long we found ourselves being dropped off at the entrance of our new home for the next few days. Sue had found us a charming sublet in the East Village~ a prime neighborhood for drinking, dining, and debauchery. Everything was perfect, so far, except that sui was LATE!!! We debated over whether or not we should just leave the apartment and start the festivities without him which would mean he’d have to meet up with us and drag his luggage around town (hahaha!) but then the idiot called and said he was just down the block. So Sue kindly went down to let him into the building and smoke a cigarette, and I waited in the apartment for him to arrive. She did not allow him to use the elevator and I could hear the rubber soles of his shoes squeaking as they turned the corners of each level… we were staying on the 6th floor . I heard him panting outside the door as he knocked. I waited a few minutes, he knocked again. Pant, pant pant. Tap, tap, tap. Finally, I whispered : "you can open the door" but he didn’t hear me. Pant, pant, pant, tap tap tap. Then I shouted: "you can open the FUCKING DOOR!". He timidly pushed open the heavy metal door and peeked in. I just glared at him and pointed down the hall to the living room where I wanted him to deposit his bags so we could hurry up and leave. He attempted to walk in , but I quickly shut that down! Sue had told me that sui is NOT permitted to walk upright when indoors in a private place… so… I admonished him for it and ordered him on his knees… watching him drag his heavy suitcase across the hardwood floors was a delight. He was SO sweaty and nervous. I snickered with glee. He crawled back down the hall towards me and we left. I allowed him to stand upright in the hallway as I locked up the apartment, but he was not allowed to look at me and had to stand nose to the wall. I locked up and then he was allowed to follow me to the elevator, but not allowed to ride with me, of course… he’d be taking the stairs again.
I told him to wait till the elevator car arrived and the door closed and then he could go. So the car arrived, the door opened, and I am pounded with the disgusting scent of beer! What the fuck!?? I look down and the floor of the car is a big puddle of beer! LOL, even though I knew sui had taken the stairs and had NOTHING to do with this malady, I accused him of it, anyway. "Did YOU do this??" I screamed at him. He whispered, "no Mistress, I didn’t do it, there was someone else when I came in, they must have done it". I just stared at him , stonefaced, "Well, YOU are going to pay for it!". I then ordered him on his knees and to place his hands into the puddle. If I had to put MY shoes in it, then HE was going to have to get dirty, too! The poor boy didn’t know what to do. After all, he’s only known me for not even 5 minutes and I’m certainly not his owner but he obeyed anyway. He passed the test… As the elevator door was closing, I called out to him: "Remember to tell Sue what happened here!" I laughed all the way down and out the door to find Sue in the NY sunlight smoking away~ I gave her a quick recap and we were laughing hysterically about it when sui finally and dejectedly exited the building. We were NOW, finally, on our way for dinner and drinks…
More to come soon!