Self Sufficient FinDommes—Are We a rare breed? Sob stories make Me sad (a euphimism for sick)

When I see a FinDomme posting a sob story I feel sick to My stomach.  The irony is almost unbearable~ is a self sufficient Financial Domme a rare breed?
I’m not referring to valid emergencies or tragedies such as a house-fire, a serious medical injury, or being the victim of a crime.
I’m talking about a Domme who compromises her own principles because she won’t (or is convinced that she can’t) pay for something herself…

Not allowing a their child to participate in extra-curricular activities such as the Girl Scouts, playing team sports, or the development of a musical or artistic talent.  I may not be a parent, but even I comprehend how important creative development and teamwork skills are.
2. Not traveling to see immediate family or not attending an important family function.  It seems to me that if something is THAT important why not pay for it yourself?  Especially when it’s something that could have been planned for in advance: pay for it yourself and then have a slave reimburse the cost.
3.Not paying a bill.  Seriously? You think you’re mature enough to manage a slave’s life but you can’t take care of yourself? Ugh.

*****Most common excuse*****
I can’t afford it.

****One more example****
Just coming across as a sad-sack.  The classic: “Woe is me, all the slaves here suck and I guess I’ll just go crawl under a rock and be alone because none of you are good enough to be near me anyway.”  That one is probably My biggest pet peeve because I just don’t understand how the Domme can NOT realize that this just makes her look like a pathetic lump.  Of course a Domme can have a bad day, we all do, however, if slaves or potential slaves are not crawling to you, chances are the reason isn’t because they all suck.  It’s probably something much deeper, and most likely it has to do with you.  Look into it.


Take out a new credit card
Sell stuff you don’t need on ebay or have a yard sale~~ hey how about one of the gajillion pair of shoes?
Pawn something~~do you really need those diamond earrings that you got from some flybynight draining session?
Borrow the money/take out a bank loan
Do something!!!
Anything but let yourself hit the bottom of the begging barrel.

***Last but not least***
Sob story posts are not attractive.  99% of the time I have noticed that they only get compounded~ as in: “Waaagh I didn’t get what I wanted so now I’m going to complain some more“.  If you’re depressed, it’s probably not because a slave didn’t buy you something~ chances are, it’s something much deeper.  Look into it.


  1. I COMPLETELY agree with You on this point Miss Pinky. I too have been privy to some certain and recent pathetic “beg” blogs. It seems like an outrageously over the top way to actually turn slaves away. The entire idea of being a dominant female is that YOU are ALWAYS self-sufficient. The Domina is SUPERIOR, so why then, would a slave feel attracted to a begging, whiney, and downright submissive blog. When a women literally begs for attention, money, gifts, it is simply shows the slave and the entire D/s community that she is in fact submissive by nature.
    I agree 100% with You. Perhaps instead of wasting time blubbering on about how the shortcommings of slave it would be better to go out… Get a job, or something or the like and take care of yourself!!!
    As a Dominant Female I rely on NO ONE. I never rely on a slave to take care of certain NEEDS and wants that are obviously more steadily covered by Myself. I would never make My child want for anything simply because a slave fails to follow through with a promise.
    Kudos Miss Pinky for your post. 😉

  2. Wait you mean if I beg for money that is pathetic? Even if I let everyone know how broke I am that I can’t even buy a loaf of bread? That is not a trait of a dominant woman? Man, I thought the whole let Me make everyone feel sorry for Me act would work. Damn I am in the wrong business. Maybe I should just go stand on the corner with a sign saying, “broke will work for money”. I mean it is quite equivalent, no?

  3. This is such a great post! I definitely agree with what you’re saying here. I mean, it’s one thing to say “hey, here’s something I want, who’s going to pay?” but completely something else to say “omg I *need* money for such and such.” I hate seeing the latter. To me, that is NOT Financial *Domination* at all. There’s nothing dominant about it.
    I also like what you said about looking deeper within. I think self reflection is very important in general, and especially with Dommes.
    Major kudos Miss Pinky ;-).

  4. i could not agree more, i came accross Mistresses like that, and i could not submit to them. They couldn’t handle the responsiblity of being a Mistress. What attracted me to you Mistress Pinky was that, what you wanted was my submission and you were interested in developing me as a sub. You make me yearn to submitt to you.

  5. goddess_thain

    This post has really nice timing.
    I just stopped talking to two friends (pro-Dommes, but not lifestylers), and moved on with my life – I’ve posted my updates in my Y!group, but haven’t updated LJ or MFDS yet (doing that today)…
    But got told yesterday to read one of their blogs, and lo & behold, both of them are still talking about me (which is fine, I’m a wonderful subject)…
    Including a debate on whether or not my fin-dom interests make me a pathetic barrel-scraper (the closest summary phrase I could think of).
    Ok, then.
    Because wanting a new Vespa is such a need.
    Wanting a bigger house means I’m destitute.
    (Note that this is after they both joined MFDS under basic memberships, didn’t bother upgrading, and then haven’t really been back because it “wasn’t paying off”)
    But yeah – definitely agree with this post.
    Complaints have no place in fin-dom, except if you’re networking and alerting people to chronic time-wasters… but that’s more warning and less whining, so it’s fine.
    Gotta go now – doorbell.
    I’m waiting for new rosebushes – I love having a garden apartment for a dungeon! 0:)

      • goddess_thain

        Re: mmmm Vespas!
        I put a photo of the Vespa I want in my latest blog entry – a Granturismo. *squee*
        And thanks.
        I adore roses, but bouquets die within a week – My house’s front yard now has a climbing dark-pink across the front patio, and a baby climbing red taking over the hedge by the front stairs. Now I’m waiting to see what the white&pink and Lincoln red bushes turn out like (at full growth, they’ll be a fence of their own).
        So what I’m waiting for now are roses for the garden area to the front of My dungeon – I think a rosebush right under the window will be more of a deterrant than much else to the neighbors peeking into my medical room. *grins*

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